A surprise phone call this week resulted in a lunch date with Juanita Carr Rush, Paul Henry Carr’s youngest sister. If you’ve read my book, It Wasn’t Much: True Tales of Ten Oklahoma Heroes, you’ll know that Chapter 4 is devoted to Carr’s harrowing story aboard the Samuel B. Roberts, a WWII destroyer escort, and his tragic, untimely death.
Chauffeured by her son Mike, Juanita was delighted that her brother’s story had been told in a way that appealed to children. She had lots of questions about how the book came to be published and about FortySixth Star Press in general. In turn, we had questions for her about what she remembered about Paul.
“For one thing, we always called him Brother,” she told us over a delicious meal of Thai food. Even now, Mike said, the surviving sisters refer to him in that way, rather than by his given name. Paul was the only boy in a family of 8 sisters, so he wasn’t likely to be confused with anybody else.
Juanita also had a gripping memory of the day the telegram was delivered. Her sisters and mother clung to each other in a group, while she sat on the couch, taking it all in. Later, she remembered her mother heading out to hang the wash on the line. Gut-wrenching sobs came from outdoors, and Juanita didn’t know what to do. There’s was nothing she could do, really. The loss of her only son was a devastating blow for Juanita’s mother.
Years later, Juanita was able to process the grief her mother felt by reading letters she had written to Paul when he was stationed on the Sammy B. It was a healing process for her, since she felt she’d never really grieved properly.
It was truly delightful to meet Juanita and hear about Paul from her firsthand accounts. She has also had an interesting life as the wife of a Navy man, with stints in both Iran and Italy. What a nice surprise it was to get that phone call and lunch with the sister of an Oklahoma hero!
